This was a Triumph - A Portal 2 Review

[KillerOfCereal]

I don’t think I’ve ever thought with portals as much as I have in Portal 2. Like Its predecessor, Portal, it is a game that requires a lot of thinking, timing and placing. These are the three things you need, to navigate through the maze of panels, lasers, blue, orange and white goo/gels. If you don’t think, you’ll be meeting the bottom of pits all the time. If you don’t time it right, you’ll be crushed under a spiky panel! Now if you don’t place it right, BAM! You’re going to find yourself slammed into a wall and falling into a pool of sludge that is inescapable. As frustrating as that may sound, it becomes an enjoyable experience for all ages.


When I began the story for Portal 2, I didn’t know what to expect. After killing GLaDOS in the first Portal, I didn’t know what to expect in Portal 2. All I knew was that GLaDOS was back and I wanted to know why. Beginning the game in a hotel looking room gave me chills because I didn’t know what to expect to happen. After getting a warm welcome from a generic greeter voice, I was told to look up, down, left and right and asked if I wanted to invert the controls. After replying with no, by pressing B (sorry no talking still), the greeter told me to go back to sleep. Now this is where things got very interesting for me. I awoke again in the same room to see that it was extremely aged and dirty, as if the cleaning lady wasn’t there to tidy up the place while I was out. I was reacquainted with the greeter voice and he told me that I was in the room for 9,999,999 days. I could tell that it was a glitch with the greeter, but I knew I had been there a long time. When I turned to look at the bed I saw that I had to have been there for more than 6 months. There on my bed was the imprint of a person who had been in that position for a really, really long time; 10 seconds after that I heard a knock on the door and a person (or what I thought was a person) with a distinctive English accent. He told me to open the door and so I did just too only find a sphere connected to a railing to greet me. After telling me that I looked “terri-great!” he asked for me to hold on to something because he was going to get us out of here. After a couple of moments of room shaking from movement he came back down. I’ve always enjoyed Valve’s sense of humor in video games and they did a great job with lightening up the mood even when things look strange. Wheatley, the robot’s/AI’s name, warned me that staying in that state could have affects on my mental health; having “Minor massive brain damage”. He told me to speak and a message popped up saying A to speak. When I pressed A I wasn’t too surprised that I would jump since the controls were very similar to the first Portal. Slightly alarmed, Wheatley told me not to worry about that I jumped instead of spoke. Then he told me that if I am to worry that it was normal because that’s how someone would react after being told that they had minor massive brain damage. Giving it a second shot he told me to say “Apple”, after jumping again and hearing a voice saying emergency override we both decided it was about time we got out of there.

A little more shaking occurred, and I was confused as to what was really going on, some of the room breaks off and I was shocked. I found out that the 5 star hotel room wasn’t in a 5 star hotel after all! It ended up being suspended by railing over a large pit. Normally, I don’t really pay attention to graphics as much as I should; but this was something else. Watching the other rooms collide and fall into the phenomenal looking walls blew my mind! Using my time wisely I used my time to find new features with the controls. I learned that pressing RB would allow me to zoom, but I couldn’t find the crouch button! They never really explain what button you have to press to crouch so I was pretty confused. I later figured out that it was B and I rejoiced. After a lot of crashing into other rooms and walls you jump out of the hotel room told to find the Portal gun. When I crashed through the glass I was struck with déjà vu. I was in the room from where I started in the first Portal! Then began the testing, the exact tests from the first one which I found enjoyable. The first test was always a breeze since all you have to do was pick up a cube and put it on a button. The other tests were easy, but not as easy as the first; since all you are given is the crappier version of the Portal gun which only has one portal to shoot, but they were easy. After taking a stroll through memory lane you find Wheatley again who shows you the backstage of Aperture Science. He tells too many gut-busting jokes to name, but let me assure you that Portal 2 wasn’t lacking in Comedy; From this point on you have to carry your good ole’ spherical friend throughout the secret passage ways because of the lack of rails. After spending a good 2 minute jog around Aperture’s secret interior he warns you that you are heading to her lair. If you guessed that “her” is GLaDOS then you guessed correct! As you walk in, and Wheatley begins shaking in fear, you find the remains of the AI you destroyed and the memory of when and how you did it. After Wheatley takes a couple of moments to be glad he is alive and well he tells you to jump down these stairs and to try not to drop him. When you begin to drop he begins to scream like a little girl, just to find that he is still being held and not in shambles. Following more of his commands I found myself in a room with switches and he tells me to find the escape elevator one. I was looking left and right when he gave the command, but when I looked up I was lost. There had to be 500 switches in total! Knowing that it was impossible to fly or find the switch Wheatley tells me to put him in an outlet. When he is in the outlet he begins rising and accidentally flipping switches on and trying to stop, but only makes it faster. Soon enough we’re back in GLaDOS’s lair and she begins to rise from the grave. Wheatley being desperate tries to find the password and stop it. Hearing him saying that the password is “AAAAAA” you know that he won’t be able to stop what is about to happen. When I heard GlaDOS’s voice I felt back at home. “Ohh…It’s you”. Now I knew something bad was really going to happen as she picks you and Wheatley calling you a monster and slightly crushing Wheatley so that he can’t speak. When she threw me down the pit from where I threw her counterparts in Portal questions began racing into my head. Was Wheatley ok? Where am I going? What’s going to happen now? These questions are later answered as you progress into the story, but you won’t get the full story unless you get the game.

When Valve announced that Portal 2 was going to have co-op I nearly fainted. When I began playing the co-op, I fainted. I had never played a strictly 2 player 3D puzzle game before so you will believe me when I say that Portal 2 is the best 2 player 3D puzzle game I’ve played! Nothing is more fun than hi-fiving your friend after completing a challenging feat or hugging them after you just made a jump that you were sure was going to destroy you. I’ve spent hours trying to complete the co-op missions with random people because I don’t have many friends who got the game or they were offline. Thank goodness Valve added a cool “Find a Partner Online” feature for people who have no frie- one to play it with. The characters you get to play as are P-Body; who is the orange tall slim looking robot and Atlas; the blue fat short looking one. A cool thing about this co-op is that you can’t get mad at your teammate! I have yet to find a person who makes me want to strangle them! I think it has something to do with how awesome the AIs look and the emotions they do when something is to happen. To get the emotions though, you have to unlock them by progressing through the areas and levels. There are only 5 areas, but they each pack about 5-8 levels and they aren’t easy if you don’t know how to do them. My suggestion is to play with a friend who hasn’t completed them for a lot of laughs and good fun.

As much as this game may sound almost perfect, it has its cons. Occasionally when you are playing the story or co-op and place a portal on a roof, you won’t be able to jump through it because it will only be a half portal for some reason. Many times in the story I found myself starting to get bored because of the no music or talking while trying to get through the maze and when I completed it, I found out that, that was the first part and there was another thing I had to do. Another thing I found pretty dumb was that after you were done with the game, you couldn’t replay any of the chapters. The only way you could was through Developer Commentary, but you couldn’t save. I forgot to mention about Developer Commentary! DC is a great way to get to know the game better and how they were planning to do what you were doing, but switched it to something else. I spend most of my time playing the game through with the commentary on just so I can be informed on why they chose to go with this instead of that or why they did that.


All in all, Portal 2 is one of my favorite games and I will never see myself selling this game or trading it to anybody just because of how good it is. It’s a game for all ages and if you enjoy being challenged, like guns that don’t shoot bullets, or like blue, white, and orange goo this game is perfect for you!

Overall Rating:

9.5/10

And don't forget to get the new DLC that will be releasing soon!

[Perfection]

I seriously want this game, i was gonna get it but the shop didn't have any in stock when i went so i bought MK9 while i was there and while i could. Also kick-ass review.

[Greenskull]

Hilarious and super fun game. Co-op is also amazing. I want more of it.

I found it too easy and not requiring enough reflexes though.

[SneakyCheese]

made it into my personal top 5

[Nightrise]

Words can not express my love for this game.

[BladeHenge]

This game easily made it to the top game in my favorites. I don't normally look for well developed characters, but this game definately sold that. The environments felt like they told the story well, the ending of the game was DEAD SEXY! which follows the Game Developers Creed 'Make this first 30 minutes sexy, make the last hour DEAD sexy!' Overall I'd give this game a personal score of 9.9. The game only lacks more test chambers which will be solved with the upcoming DLC!

[Stoltzy]

Nice review, this game definitely has the best characters with crazy personalities.
Also there is a chapter select, if you choose new game it gives you the list of chapters to play from.

[all else failed]

Solid review!

[PredArtagnan]

I need to play this *curse you trying to save money*.